Kids, when you buy a bootleg DVD, you may be supporting people who might sympathize with a terrorist group that hasn't actually attacked us

First it was drugs, and now it's DVD piracy. Some guys in the intellectual property crimes unit of the LAPD, guys who probably get made fun of by cops who risk their lives going after real criminals, have apparently played up their role as noble defenders of the homeland by telling Congress what the MPAA and RIAA want lawmakers to hear as they contemplate even more draconian copyright enforcement measures: copyright piracy funds terrorism. Or, rather, it probably has some kind of link to terrorism, because people whose homes have been raided over it may have been overheard saying anti-Israeli things and might also have some sympathies with Hezbollah, all of which of course means that when you buy a bootleg DVD you basically have the blood of innocent Americans on your hands.

"Some associates of terrorist groups may be involved in IPR crime," Stedman said. "During the course of our investigations, we have encountered suspects who have shown great affinity for Hezbollah and its leadership."

Even though Stedman's evidence is circumstantial, his testimony comes as Congress is expected to consider new copyright legislation this year. An invocation of terrorism, the trump card of modern American politics, could ease the passage of the next major expansion of copyright powers. Steadman said he saw Hezbollah flags and photographs of the group's leader in homes that he raided, coupled with anti-Israel sentiments on the part of those arrested.

In other news, I hear that it's a proven fact that Hezbollah gets some of their money from people who sell gasoline on the open market, right out in front of God and everybody. But don't expect Congress to trumpet that particular terrorist connection, much less use it as a pretext to go on the warpath against gasoline usage.