Top Ten Signs We Finally Have an Anti-Torture President

10) The President goes waterskiing instead of waterboarding.

—Jill – Redding, Connecticut

9) Grand opening of the "Sandals Guantanamo Bay Beach Resort".

—James - South Orange, New Jersey

8) "Stress Positions" are only for Corporate CEOs, and the phrase "torture memo" refers only to long, painfully boring email sent by superiors.

—Janis - Sunland, California and Megan - Rohnert Park, California

7) "Enhanced interrogation techniques" now defined as ordinary techniques filmed in HD.

—Megan - Rohnert Park, California

6) The phrase "Extraordinary Rendition" now used to describe American Idol performances.

—Joseph - San Diego, California

5) Jack Bauer starts acting more like his brother, Eddie.

—Travis and Benjamin - Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

4) "Secret detention" means not telling your parents you had detention.

—James - South Orange, New Jersey

3) Calling Geneva Conventions "quaint" now seen as quaint.

—Megan - Rohnert Park, California

2) "I can finally stop wearing my 'Who Would Jesus Torture?' bracelet."

—Sarah – New York, New York

1) Superman no longer having to fight for truth, justice and the Canadian way.

—Edward - Los Angeles, California